Mail Archive of the old Santa Clara Valley Lutheran Parish

I adjure you by the Lord that this letter be read to all the brethren. (Thessalonians 5:27)
Subject: a personal meditation.
Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2010 22:00:50 -0800 (PST)
From: David Bonde <pastorbonde@gmail.com>
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Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2010 22:00:50 -0800 (PST)
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Subject: a personal meditation.
From: David Bonde <pastorbonde@gmail.com>
To: SCVLP <scvlp@googlegroups.com>
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It's not my turn for a devotion.  But sometimes writing is my therapy.

David Bonde

As I laid my hand on her forehead it was cold, colder than any body I
had touched before.  She was curled up beneath the comforter in a
large bed in her spacious bedroom.  At first glance you wouldn=92t have
noticed she was there.

She had left an open jar of jam on the counter in the kitchen;
something she would never have done.  Their guess is that she had
started to make herself a piece of toast on Sunday morning, felt ill,
and gone up to lie down for a moment.

It was Monday morning when a worried friend called her son and they
found her.

=93What then shall we say to these things?=94

The scripture is full of tears.  Job cries out in grief, unable to
comprehend his loss.  David cries out in guilt and grief when his
crime against Uriah is revealed.  He turns his head to the wall unable
to eat when the child of that illicit union gets sick.  The people cry
out in from their bondage in Egypt, when pharaoh gives the order to
throw their sons into the sea.

The widow of Nain weeps for her son.  Mary and Martha weep for their
brother.  The women at the cross stand by weeping.  Jesus weeps for
Jerusalem.  Jesus weeps at the grave of Lazareth.  The scripture is
full of tears.

And woven through the scriptures is the message that God did not
create us for sorrow; that a day will come when there are no more
tears.

It is hard to believe.

Make no mistake; this faith we have, this trust in that biblical word,
is not a simple thing.

In the hands of some Americans the scripture becomes a promise of
success.  Give your life to God and God will guide all things.

We do confess that God guides all things.  God calls forth the earth
in the beginning.  God summons Abraham to follow and promises him a
future.  God wrestles with Isaac.  God guides the way of Joseph.  God
calls Moses at the burning bush and sends him to pharaoh with a
command to set free his slaves.

God leads them through the wilderness, providing food from heaven.
God guides Joshua, raises up Saul and David, God tears the kingdom of
Solomon in half.  God raises up and throws down kings through the
words of the prophets.  God warns the people of the consequences of
the path they travel, and yet God hands Babylon over to Cyrus and
brings the people home.

God guides.  God guides the affairs of nations and of individuals.
But the journey is a complicated journey, designed to form a people of
grace, freedom and life, not a people of wealth, power and success.

And there is one last door to pass through on the journey into life.
One final death to self and rising to newness of life.  It=92s the door
none of us wants to try.  It is a journey we don=92t want any of our
loved ones to travel.

There are lots of tears in the Bible.  There is certainly joy, too.  A
rich celebration of the goodness of creation.  Joyful songs of delight
in married love.  Laughter and dancing.  Quiet amazement at the wonder
of life.  But then there are tears and ache and regret and that great
emptiness in the heart.  How can it be that the one who smiled on us
yesterday is now cold and no more?

Where is my brother?  Where is my daughter?  Where is Rebecca and
Clarence and the hundreds of funerals I have done between them?
Pieces of your life ripped away.  Wounds that never quite heal.

When we walk that shaky ground where the light is dim and one side
slips away into despair and the other into unbelief, there we hear the
cry =93eloi, eloi, lema sabachthani,=94 there we here the daring whisper,
=93Into your hands I commend my spirit,=94 there we hear the bold
declaration, =93It is accomplished,=94 there we hear the watchful
centurion confess =93Truly this was the son of God,=94 there we are
invited to walk the dark path with nothing but the promise that the
grave cannot hold him.

So today I stood by and watched Martha=92s body go down into the grave.
Watched as the workers packed up the chairs and tent and wheeled them
away, watched as they brought in the front loader and let down the lid
of the vault, watched as they struggled to start the tractor engine
and dump the dirt down into the hole.  Like every other time I have
watched.  And now we await the mystery.
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